Why “Why * Sucks” Articles Suck

“Why Digg.com Sucks.”
“Why Google Video Sucks.”
“Why Web 2.0 Sucks.”
“Why Apple Sucks.”
“Why Evolution Sucks.”

These and similar headlines can be found all over the blogosphere. Try this Digg.com search to see many things that suck. Of course, these “Why * Sucks” articles are commentary and opinion within the decidedly subjective blogospheric realm. “Why * Sucks” articles allow the common person to vent his/her/other frustrations. Maybe the wildcards that suck should pay attention to why people think they suck. Perhaps someday “Why * Sucks” articles will be regarded as the first fledgling words of the infant global democracy.

Or maybe “Why * Sucks” articles just suck. Here is a list of why they suck:

  1. The subjective “suck” doesn’t belong in a headline.
  2. “Suck” is now woefully overused, even if it did belong in a headline.
  3. The structure of these articles is often the same: start off by saying how something isn’t so bad but conclude with why that something still sucks.
  4. The writer insists the suckage is a personal attack against his/her/other person.
  5. The writer assumes he/she/other is an expert that others will want to read.
  6. Suggestions for improvement are kept to an absolute minimum to allow more room for venting.
  7. Colloquial speech is apparently the new black in writing: “Guess what, *, you are a loser!” “They expect me to believe THAT!?” “What’s wrong with this picture?” “Ass.” Seriously, dude, are you kidding me?

I could continue, but I am sure you get the point (8. The writer assumes everyone else gets the point.) In conclusion, “Why * Sucks” articles really do suck, as should be abundantly clear, I tell you!

Regards,

Fed Up in Tucson!

Published by

Richard Leis

Richard Leis is a writer and poet living in Tucson, Arizona. His poetry has been published in Impossible Archetype. His essays about fairy tales and technology have been published on Tiny Donkey and Fairy Tale Review’s “Fairy-Tale Files“.